Back When Men Were Men:

I did not come up with these, but they're too good to not post here.  Original Source.

Don't Get Scammed: Use Common Sense

I’ve written about fakes before, since I consider finding one both exciting and annoying.

They are exciting because some detective work is usually necessary to figure out that it is a fake (rather than an anomaly, or just a reproduction), and they are annoying because trying to explain to someone they have a fake can be tedious.

“But the dealer swore he took that from Martha Washington's grave himself!”

“The guy who sold it to me said it was all original - now you say the running boards are repro?!”

I try to tell people to research something before buying it. Most people find research off-putting in that they believe such an endeavor is overwhelming. “Goodness, I’m no historian! How will I know if it’s real? I’ll just buy it and hope for the best.”

This is partially true – a connoisseur is much more knowledgeable about a specific product than a novice. Appraisers understand market dynamics and different types of value. Museum curators are immersed in their field, and are excellent (usually) unbiased resources. For some forms of authentication, a scientist is required (for example, dendrochronology, paint analysis, carbon dating).

So yes, hiring a professional is always best; however, if the piece doesn’t warrant that level of expertise, or you only have a passing interest, doing your own research can be as easy as putting both your brain cells together. Here’s my basic starter guide to determining the authenticity of anything:

Google it.

Some things, such as Dali prints, are faked so often that it’s laughable. Most appraisers go into a project involving Dali prints expecting some (if not all) to be fake. Heck, eBay has it's own article on fake Dali prints. The signatures are wrong, the numbering of the print is wrong, etc. Park West Gallery on cruise ships had a particularly bad habit of selling these (only in international waters, of course). Using Google to see what others have written on the subject is quick, easy, and free. Certain cars and vintages of wine are also faked.

Common Sense.

Use what knowledge you already possess. I was cataloging the impressive collection of a certain museum last year, and came across a small cup and saucer that purportedly was unearthed after being buried for 400 years. The cobalt decoration was poorly executed, and the bottom of the cup was clean. By “clean,” I mean that my 9 month old coffee cup at work has a dingier bottom than this very antique archaeologically-recovered tea cup. It was obvious that this was, in fact, not a genuine piece (and as it turns out, the person from whom the museum acquired the piece was a shady character anyway).

If something seems “odd” or “funny,” then it probably is.

Not the actual cup.

Recently a person bought table that he swore was antique. “Look how old it is! I think it must be at least from the 1920s.”[ii] Upon further inspection, all screws were Phillips-head, and didn’t appear to be replacements. Phillips-head screws were not available until the 1930s.[iii]

Plausibility.

Sometimes you know the object is probably not fake, but you want to know if the it is original, rather than a reproduction or something fabricated “in the style of.” One must delve a little deeper into the background of the object, rather than focus on the object itself. Were they making that style of chair in Virginia before the Civil War? Did that bottling company ever use anything other than green glass?

A woman once emailed me claiming to have some silver than had been passed down in her family for 500 years. I quickly learned that the company who made the silver had only been in business since the 18^th century. Obviously no special dating or knowledge of silver hallmarks was required, as the company did not exist 500 years ago. Her silver was not “fake;” rather, it was simply not as old as she was telling everyone.

One way of quickly figuring out that something is suspicious is discovering that there were more sold than there were originally made. A good example of this was detailed in this excellent article in the New Yorker:

In some cases, the bottle, the label, and the capsule all appeared genuine, but the rarity of the wine alone was ground for suspicion. Koch owns two magnums of Lafleur from 1947, for instance. “Forty-seven is the great Lafleur,” Molyneux-Berry said. But, he continued, he has heard that in 1947 the vineyard bottled only five magnums. “What’s the chance of him having two out of five?” he asked. Edgerton maintains an online database that tracks auction sales and prices. Nineteen magnums of ’47 Lafleur have sold at auction since 1998.[i]

If after performing your own research, you still think you might have something special, please consider hiring a professional to learn more, including how and if you should sell it, or the best method of storing/displaying/preserving it.

Great article discussing wine, fraud, appraising, and why Christie’s Auctions can’t always be trusted: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2007/09/03/070903fa_fact_keefe#ixzz1CFt62UEK

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[i] A Reporter at Large, “The Jefferson Bottles,” The New Yorker, September 3, 2007, p. 106.

[ii] Note: Unless we are discussing rugs or cars, the word “antique” ONLY applies to items 100 years old, or older. For items younger, the term “vintage” would be appropriate.

[iii] Popular Science, January 1936, page 38.

Artistic Expression in Comics (In [Very] Brief):

Though comics, in one form or another, have been around for centuries, the type of comics we recognize today became prevalent in the late 19th century. One of the first was The Yellow Kid, published in 1895.

The artist's inspiration came from the tenement children running around in New York City, wearing hand-me-downs too large for them, and having shaved heads due to lice. He felt they always appeared happy, despite their dingy surroundings.

San Francisco Academy of Comic Art Collection, The Ohio State Univeristy Cartoon Research Library

Still, in the beginning, The Yellow Kid was more in line with what we would consider a political cartoon, rather than just slapstick humor or a story line comic.

Only a few decades later, newspapers would be filled with strips such as Gasoline Alley, Blondie, and Alley Oop; they all followed a basic format consisting of black and white characters in a rectangular strip. In 1914, Krazy Kat burst onto the scene with interesting background art, and an unconventional format.

Though others would also experiment with formatting within the limitations of the physical page, none would accomplish this lofty artistic goal quite as well as Bill Watterson's Calvin and Hobbes.

The comics in watercolors.

I'll say it now: If you don't like Calvin and Hobbes, you're a communist.

This isn't funny? Then the terrorists have already won.

When Calvin and Hobbes strips stopped, most people were bereft of any decent comics to read. This would continue for several years... until Al Gore invented the interwebs and we got webcomics.

No longer could the Evil Mass Media dictate what I could read and find amusing. Thousands of artists post their work (for better or for worse - joke intended) for us to enjoy/mock. The artistic limitations of printed press are discarded, for the most part.
We have swearing, nudity, 3-d characters, larger sizes, more colors, legos, horrible art/spectacular art, etc.

Well, I think it's funny.

Some of my favorites are Least I Could Do & Looking For Group, Something Positive, Girls with Slingshots, Gunnerkrigg Court, Phoenix Requiem, Abominable Charles Christopher (such good art!) and Goblins. Most of my favorites tell stories, but I don't complain when the gag-a-day strips are clever.

There are some negative aspects to webcomics, such as the lack of deadlines and the artists' sometimes feeble attempts to involve the audience in their own drama. I really get irritated when a Monday-Wednesday-Friday strip fails to update for a week, then the artist posts something enigmatic and lame such as, " OMG I've had so much personal stuff that I didn't have time to post."

Sure, I don't mind that excuse the first few times, but is your life really so much more complicated than everyone else's that you get to slack off?
Then they ask for donations. I'll donate if you're on time, not if we're all getting frustrated waiting for you to do your job (yes, webcomics are the full-time job for many of the artists - not all, but many).

Mostly, though, webcomics are an improvement.

Sometimes I wonder what those imaginative cartoonists of old would have done if they'd had the freedom of the internet.

Times Haven't Really Changed: Airbrushing the Past

As of late, there has been a backlash against the airbrushing of models for fashion magazines and advertising.

Because models apparently aren't beautiful, slender or tall enough, the fashion world further slims their hips and waists, elongates their legs, and enlarges their eyes, hair and breasts.

The left picture is a more accurate representation of what a 29 yr old's bottom looks like.

"We're always stretching the models' legs and slimming their thighs," a Manhattan-based photo retoucher tells NEWSWEEK, speaking anonymously for fear of professional backlash.

See how she's so fat in the second picture? Obviously such flaws had to be fixed.

I'd love to tell you this is just a new fad, or something that our Evil Modern Society created. Unfortunately, "airbrushing" has been around for hundreds (thousands?) of years.

It used to take the form of paintings and sculpture.

Henry VIII (yeah, that Henry) famously demanded that since he had yet to see Anne of Cleves, that his royal portraitist must paint her accurately and not flatter her.
If all artists painted accurate representations of their subjects, then why such a demand? Because almost NO ONE did that. That would be poor business.

I don't know, she still doesn't look too bad.

Only since the invention of photography were we able to prove that the art was less than realistic, but it's been going on long before the 19th century.

The Princess Alice, Grand Duchess of Hesse, in a lovely painting:

The Princess Alice in real life:

She's not ugly, but didn't naturally possess the mid-late 1800s female aesthetic Ideal which was extremely sloping, white rounded shoulders, plump arms, and round face having tiny nose over heart-shaped lips.

Queen Victoria in her wedding dress:

And here is the Queen in her wedding dress.

Here's another painting of her:

It doesn't even look like the same person in the face.

Not only women were "photo-shopped" in paintings. Here's President Andrew Jackson's photograph...

...which is far cry from paintings and money depicting him:

Note the strong jaw and expressive eyes that are required of all men.

Print of Andrew Jackson in his natural state of "kicking British ass." Still not my favorite President.

I agree that the media's depiction of models is not good for the self-esteem of the rest of us, particularly since the models have been altered so much that they are no longer real people. 

When a 5'9" model weighing less than 115 is not a "good enough" shape for Fashion, this is what we are left with after the airbrushing:

This is a real Ralph Lauren catalog.

But is it so much worse than this was?

1830s fashion plates. Notes the elongated necks, sloped but wide shoulders, oddly narrow feet, tiny high waists.

Sweatpants-Free Zone:

I own one pair of sweatpants. They were my mother’s University of Oklahoma sweats from circa 1975. I don’t own any other pair, and wouldn’t dream of wearing them more often than once each month, any where other my kitchen.

“Chicago Mail Order,” 1921

When I started college, I noticed that many of my fellow young scholars wore sweatpants to class. Instead of taking pride in their appearance, they schlepped around in flip-flops, grey sweats and some kind of t-shirt, completing the ensemble with hair that may or may not have seen a brush in the past 3 days.

“Butterick Fashion,” 1934

When I began to fly about once per month back in 2001, I noticed sweatpants on airplanes. No longer did people don their Sunday best to ride about the world with others; rather, I saw people of all ages in sweats lugging around bed pillows (which kind of grosses me out).

1940s Airline Advertisement

I’ve seen sweats in houses of worship, in office settings, out at bars… and I wonder where on earth these people found the information saying that this is acceptable public attire?

When I’ve asked for the opinions of others, I get one of two answers:

· Sweats are comfortable, and I dress for comfort.

· I hate that people can’t respect themselves enough to at least put on a pair of jeans.

“Vicara Fibers,” 1956

This is a very “me/now-centric” society. Rather than care about how we are perceived by others, we care only for and about ourselves at the present moment in time. Who cares if in 2 years I’ll want my professor to write a letter of recommendation? I only care about my comfort level in this 8am class.

“Arrow Shirts,” 1961

We don’t care about other people because other people don’t matter. So why stop at wearing sweatpants out to places formerly reserved for resort or business casual? Let’s wear those holey, sagging things to funerals. I mean, we’re so distraught at a funeral, so we might as well be comfortable.

Next, let’s wear our “leggings of shame” to weddings (but not white sweats, because you might compete with the bride).

The President should give his next State-of-the-Union in them.

“Levi’s Sportswear,” 1978

Or, you know, we could relegate sweatpants back to where they were intended, where they belong: The gym. Hence the name “sweat” pants. There’s nothing wrong with respecting yourself, and dressing to impress those around you.

As Jerry Seinfeld famously said in an episode of his show, “You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweat pants? You're telling the world: "I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable."

Thankful For Foods New & Old:

When I lived in the Garden State, harvest season was the highlight of the year. The last tomatoes are brought to the farm stands, the corn finishes ripening, and the bright pumpkins swell in the fields.

The Harvest, Robert Zund (1827 - 1909)

Few people ever consider the historical circumstances that allow us to enjoy these fruits and vegetables around the world today. Most people know that Amerindians cultivated corn (maize) for thousands of years, and introduced it to the Europeans who arrived on America's shores in the 15th century. However, corn wasn't the only "New World" vegetable to impact Europe.

For instance, though tomatoes are today considered an integral part of Italian sauces, the British and North American British colonists refused to eat tomatoes for years because they erroneously believed them to be poisonous (only the leaves are toxic). Anyone who has been hiking or enjoys the outdoors probably has heard that brightly colored berries are typically bad to eat. The vibrant fruit of the tomato made some Europeans nervous, so when Spanish explorers brought back seeds from Tenochtitlan around 1519, the British only cultivated them as decorative plants. Obviously since the Spanish had seen the Amerindians eat the tomato with no ill effects, the fruit caught on quickly in Spain, with Italy following closely behind. The myth of the poisonous tomato persisted among the British and Americans until less than 200 years ago.

Ripening Tomatoes 4, Cindy Revell (Contemporary)

Were you aware that the Irish didn't farm potatoes until recently? Native to Peru, the potato is first mentioned by Spaniard Pedro de Cieza de Leon in 1540, when he writes that the native peoples have, in addition to maize, another "plant that supports a great part of their existence: the potatoes...." After making its way around Europe, Sir Walter Raleigh (1552-1618) first brought the potato to Ireland when he planted them at his estate near Cork. The new crop gained so much in popularity that "cooking any food other than a potato had become a lost art. Women hardly boiled anything but potatoes" [Woodham-Smith, The Great Hunger: Ireland, 1962]. This dependence on the potato directly lead to the starvation of millions when the blight destroyed nearly all the potatoes in Ireland.

Gathering Potatoes, Jules Bastien-Lapage (1848 - 1884)

Perhaps the crop most associated with autumn is the pumpkin. We make pies and soups from it, roast the seeds, and even fry the blossoms. While pumpkins today are grown on every continent save Antarctica, they are believed to have been first cultivated in Mexico thousands of years ago. In addition to using pumpkins as food, Amerindians would pound the tough rind into strips and weave it into mats. Colonists first created the pie when they hollowed out a pumpkin and filled the inside with milk, honey and spices, then set the squash in the fire to cook.

Gathering Pumpkings: An October Scene in New England, ca. 1860

This was original posted at Mark & Stephanie's excellent and healthy blog, You Are What I Eat.

A Simple Matter of Etiquette...

Because I am of a certain age, I receive wedding invitations, wedding shower invitations, and baby shower invitations. This started about the time I turned 18, and downpour has yet to let up.

There are a few things that have never failed to upset me, and I can’t imagine why any self-respecting person would do them.

Don’t get me wrong; many of my friends have sent baby shower announcements and wedding invitations that were lovely, and even if I tried, I wouldn’t find fault. But there are always a few…

At a former job in Florida, a coworker had a baby shower for her second child. Everyone was invited, and had brought gifts. When a girl friend and I showed up, the mother of the mom-to-be handed us envelopes. She told us to address them to ourselves, as they were for the Thank-You notes to be mailed later.

wtf.

The interesting part is that nobody ever received any Thank-You notes at all. Some people even spent a lot of money on lavish gifts.

But Laura, the price of the gift shouldn't matter.

You're right, but those people should have at least received the Thank-You notes that they had already addressed to themselves.

An out-of-state friend was having a wedding shower. The friend who was throwing it for her was someone I did not know. This person sent a wedding shower invite to me, and enclosed two different Registry Cards. In addition, there was a hand written note saying, “If you can’t make it, here is the address where you should send the gifts.”

Do I really need to go into detail about the obvious rudeness here? Needless to say, no gift was sent (I did bring several gifts to the wedding itself, and I paid a crazy amount in travel expenses, so I think I did the “good friend” thing sufficiently).

I take personal offense at Registry Cards.

Etiquette Fail.

I don’t mind if a person is registered somewhere, but proper etiquette dictates that I call a friend, relative, or the person throwing the wedding/baby shower to find out that sort of information.
(By the way, it is horrible etiquette to throw your own shower. It means you are pathetic, and have no friends.)

Registry Cards included in invitations means one of two things:

• “I am inviting you because I want a gift from you, and I don’t trust your crappy taste in picking out something nice for me.”
• “I know you are too cheap to bring a gift, so I’m reminding you of your friendship duties.”

It does not mean, “I enjoy our friendship, and I would love for you to share in my special day.” That’s what the original invitation meant.

Have you ever heard of the money dance? This is right up there with the money tree on my list of pet peeves. At another wedding*, men had to pay money to dance with the bride. Not only had the men paid money to travel to the wedding, paid money for hotel expenses, paid money for gifts, and paid money for tuxes, they now had to pay to dance with the bride? Woe unto those who didn’t have cash on them!

I could write a whole book on wedding/baby shower stupidity, but there are already several out there, as well as several reliable websites letting us know the proper way to behave.

Of course, I’m perfect, just as my blog readers are perfect, and none of us will ever do any of those things.


*I've been to a remarkable number of weddings.